well enough alone

• The man who just took out the garbage from underneath my desk is a founding member of the GAP band. I consider him a friend and ally in the forty hour fight against poverty that I call my full time Joe job. The fact of who this man is/was has been one of the many not so subtle affirmative hints that god is real and loves me. It is absurd. Wink-wink/ nudge-nudge(the janitor is a funk legend) Life is awesome. Love is real.
• The positive thoughts I think often materialize and are acted out in front of me on a regular basis. The frequency of these living miracles is contingent on my attitude. If my eyes and heart are opened, and my mind and host body are aligned…then yearly/monthly/weekly/daily/nightly/moment to moment/ the more my dreams become reality.
• Let the evolution of my transportation situation be proof enough: When I started out walking…and couldn’t pay my way, and needed a little help, I got it. I just had to ask, you know, swallow my pride. And so, I did. I swallowed pride and choked on it, and gulped, and many buckets of tears and rivers of snot flowed violently from within. I was submerged in the process of personal erosion and my new being floated to the ceiling like a sort of driftwood. I walked and waited, and slept, and woke, and waited and walked and waited. I got a job cleaning toilets. I cleaned a lot of toilets pretty good, and I got better and better. I got better at my job. I was better at cleaning toilets than anything else. I got paid. I was rewarded for cleaning toilets well. I got promoted to head potty scrubber. My hours changed, and I needed wheels. I did the footwork and cut through  the red tape to get my license back. I got a little motorbike. I rode it in all sorts of weather. Waterproof became a major selling point for me. A guy that i hardly know gave me a new car last summer. He said that God told him to give it to me 8 months earlier, but he disobeyed the order. In fact, he apologized for not having given it to me earlier. He hoped he hadn’t inconvenienced me.
• I got sick and nearly died. I am fortunate. My insurance kicked in right around the time i fell ill, so there was no argument for the pre-existing conditions loophole. The insurance company $pend$ a lot of money on me all the time. All this stuff is not lost on me. I guess my life is right…just thought i ought to mention it.

Tags: art, belief, con men, creative nonfiction, emotional sobriety, faith, inner peace, memoir, observation, Philosophy, sanity, storytelling, work