Tag Archives: survival

don’t start none, won’t be none

16 Jun

 

My parents divorced when I was in 5th grade. I traveled with dad all summer that year because I had nothing better to do. It was the first summer in six years that I wasn’t in little league. It was Monday morning, and before we could hit the highway, he had to take care of his monthly rigmarole inside the post office. There he would send in all his bills, pay the car note, and make the child support payment.

He drove a black on black 87 Deville whose air conditioner seemed to blow carcinogens when it was on. I waited in the car with the window cracked and tried to breathe while he was inside. The parking lot was full, which meant the line inside was long and the road would have to wait.  He was in there for a while; I sat listening to side b of James Brown’s: ‘Say It Loud’.  As he strode back across the parking lot, the instrumental track: ‘I’ll lose my mind’ wafted out the window, temporarily ventilating the heat sealed sounds. He calmly opened the driver’s side door, situating his-self half in/half outside the front seat. He took his time while put his things away in the glove compartment and console.  His left leg was still touching down on the asphalt to keep him steady.

When he was finally ready, and had everything in its right place; he gently closed the door, put on his safety belt, then started the car. He put the car in reverse, and kept his foot on the brake. He turned his head around toward me, his arm stretched across the seat above my royal blue KC cap so he could see behind him. And then, when we were about to back up, the pickup truck parked in front of us quite suddenly jerked into reverse, and leapt back into the chrome bumper of the Caddie.

ding!

My dad turned his head, and put the car in park. As quick as he’d hit us, the guy in the truck leaned over in his seat, and put on a neck-brace. Both my father and I saw this happen. Dad looked at me and put his big, hairy hand on my shoulder.

“You alright buddy?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, I think so.”

And, like liquid, he reached under the seat with one hand, opened the door with the other, got out, and shut the door swiftly. He took two quick steps and met the man inside his own door frame, and in one fast motion he threw a hard right hook that jammed the snub-nose barrel of his hammerless 38 special into the side of the guy’s face, knocking his glasses crooked. The man bleated outta shrill blip of fear/pain/shock/horror before dad had his other arm around his neck. He had the man in a headlock with the gun pressed into his temple. I don’t know what he said; I couldn’t really hear anything after that. Everything got real slow and quiet for a minute. I guess he said the stuff one says when they’ve got a stranger at gunpoint. He waited for the man in the truck to drive off . Dad got in the car and shut the door. He buckled in, backed up, and finally pulled out of the post office parking lot.

His bloodshot eyes bulged behind his steel framed casino glasses. He turned the radio off, and we drove along in silence, aside from the private belligerent commentary that gurgled forth, sputtering from deep within, and continued oozing out from the side of the old man’s dry mouth in a very steady, deep, guttural tone.

the last word

12 Jun

I quit caring about grades in jr. high. In 8th grade I flunked everything. I hated English, but it was kind of my favorite class. My teacher was terrible and she made everyone read out loud. I went to school in rural Arkansas. Nobody in my class read well. It killed me to listen to them struggle like that. I was a very strong reader, in fact that’s about all I was very good at, so I had that. I could always spell too, and it came time for the spelling bee eliminations, and I beat everybody in the class. My teacher continued to allow two other “better” students second and third chances to get me out of the picture, but I couldn’t lose.  Her want to keep me out of the spelling bee was discouraging, although I didn’t believe in competition, I kept winning. I wouldn’t lose because I hated her guts.

She took me out in the hallway to make sure that I was certain I wanted to represent our class in the spelling bee, because she was sure that wouldn’t, and i DIDN’T, but I had to do it, because if I didn’t she would win, so I said that I did, and my mom quizzed me hard every night for hours until the actual day of the  event.

I looked like a jerk in my too tight midnight blue Girbaud’s, braided belt, Genera shirt, and a pair of quarter top Dexters. I wore a lot of Adidas cologne and  so much gel in a hairstyle derivative of Christian Slater’s in the movie Kuffs. What a dick.

My English teacher was one of the main judges. They all took turns reading words and definitions. She just looked like a bitch.

The thing went on forever. My neighbor and I went head to head for the win. He’d spell correctly, then misspell, and then I’d spell and misspell, and so on and on it went. We both wanted to win, but not if it meant that one of us had to lose. I got a lucky break. I spelled imperturbable correct and the final word was LINGERIE. Easy money. I spelled it as loud and sarcastic as I could. I won. My mom was never more proud in her life.

The following Monday they announced that I won the thing on the intercom and all my teachers treated me differently, not special, just different. Most of them had really encouraging things to say, but my English teacher was reluctant to speak with me. That week in English we watched The Outsiders which we just finished reading aloud. All the tough guys laid down on the tile in front of the TV parroting the greaser speak and blurting out cuss words. It was awesome. She interrupted the movie and took me with her out in the hall again, this time to congratulate me. She was reluctant to give me any praise, told me that it surprised her that I won, but that I did a good job.

“I know.” I said.

I probably wore the same clothes to the county spelling bee.  I got eliminated in the first round when I misspelled potatoes.

the firecracker war

5 Jun

They got us like the cows.

we humans

drink fat &

stand still

until our circulation stops

& we freeze.

 

New years

came & went.

We were  in the future

in tin cans

out there

in tundra town

Snow fell in the desert

so i drove like space hunter.

Visual fabric:

moonscape

arroyos

witches hats

landlocked by gravity

led by a starry sky

blanketed, insulated

by instrumental

future cop

tunes.

Image

Bond Bug

21 Mar

Bond Bug

A kid can dream, can’t he?

Buzzard feed

16 Jan

soaring high

in circles going

around & round

tight

like a nailgun

through a

spruce skinnylike

a sapling mama say

g’night sleep tight

don’t let the

bedbugs bite

to a son

keep the lite brite

from lightning bug

infrared messages

smeared across a

black t-shirt chest

at some church

in the dark

past

to your head

suddenly

Everything got a lot

more futuristic

        ∞

still beating

15 Dec

reality tv party

26 Sep

little bit of soul

4 Aug

 

monday’s mantra

30 Jul

reflecting pool

14 Jul

It was all

pine trees dude…

humming birds

& honeysuckle.

A floating dock

for the summer

& they lowered the lake

in the winter.

They say it’s o.k.

if  a lizard

loses it’s tail.

I say just knowing

about frog gigging

ain’t good enough.

While cotton mouths

lay hidden

in the dry

creek bed

in back of the cove,

a punk was something

like incense

you’d use to

light & ignite

firecrackers.

Somebody @ church camp

mightn’t have written

your name in day-glo

lightning bug letters

across the front

of my sleeveless t-shirt.

There’s that short seat

near the back

of every

school bus

w/ the heater

underneath

and your pocket knife

has worn through

your best blue jeans.

Mosquitoes are bad this year

and hunting season

is over.

 

 

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 61 other followers